05/02/04 Update! Well i have Pretty much stopped pulling out y eyelashes and eyebrows. I have Lashes full grown! And brows are a little spase but I think in time they will fill in more. Good news is they are just fine with a little help from a brow pencil. The spot in the back of my head is almost grown in too. So I feel dang all triumphant! Yeah for me!
04/04/04 Cool calendar date today! I went to Margo's for dinner last night with Mark. It was ok. She wanted to paint my toenails. And dance to George Michael.Alas, I did neither. I filled in my eyebrows(which are about half grown in) and put on some eyeliner and a touch of eyeshadow. Well Margo just couldn't get over me. She was saying "I never realized how pretty you are"! And "You should go out"! Then Gary asked how old I was and when I said 36 he was like oh no!! I thought you were in your 20's! So yes it was a good night for me confidence wise. I have not pulled out my brows or lashes now for 15 days! 03/30/04 today seemed to be sort of never ending, I talked to my sister about trich. She has it too to some degree. our thought processes are almost identical when it comes to what when and why we do it. I am still doing good with the brows and lashes. right now i have no desire to pull on them at all. I just want them to come back in and they ARE Blanche they are!!! Well I feel pretyy good about that but I have to be stronger when it comes to my head. I still pull a few hairs out a day. Mel and I were talking about how we like to stroke our hair feeling for the weird ones and then pull them out and look at the hair and run it rhough our fingers. Its a sensory thing. I want to finish this blanket I started for Rod a while back. The crocheting helps me alot to not mess with my hair. Today in a chat room a girl said the only way to get her to stop would be cut her hands off! Now that is a serious problem!03/29/04 I have not pulled my eyebrows or lashes in a week. They are really starting to come in. The eyelashes poke me in the lower lid right now. It will be nice when they get past that stage! I think the journal is helping. Also I have thrown my tweezers away which helps a lot. I think it helps the most. Mark suggested that I tattoo on my brows; I have considered it but I think I can leave them alone. We went to Ulta on Friday night with Nancy and Rod and I saw some pink lensed shades with a T monogram. They looked good on me but a monogram, me? Come on!! With out the monogram I would have seriously wanted them. Anyway that was when Mark suggested the Tattoos. It isn�t long term as a real tattoo but � not there yet. A good idea for if I truly can�t win . I am not ready for that though.
03/26/04 last night I was not pull free. I was trying to pull my brows. This is so terribly hard to deal with. It is being your own enemy. However I did not do any damamge. I have to pay attention. It is like being hyper vigilant. 03/25/04 Last night I was smoothing my eybrows. I like to do that. It is calming I guess. Trouble is it can lead to me pulling them out. I had a long conversation with a friend about trich and she was really supportive. I didn't pull out any brow or lash hairs last night. I put a picture of myself in the mirror with my brows full and one in the back mirror with them mostly pulled out. I have not pulled on them in about 4 or 5 days. It seems like forever!03/24/04-
Last night I was editing my Diablo Necromancer. I spent two hours messing with the code and then found a character editor that did it in 2 minutes. While I was editing I found myself pulling the hair in the back of my head and had a horrified reaction. Just that morning I had been determined not to pull. I realized that I had not pulled my eyebrows or lashes but had focused on the back of my head. I felt sick that I did it and scared that I won't be able to stop. However I have found a site with alot of positive feedback and support. It is the first one I have found. In my reading I also noticed that I have some classic behavoir and some that hasn't even been mentioned on the site. Well today I feel trepiditious but determined. I hope writting down my feelings about it will help me to control the behavoir.
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no name - 2004-09-27
Yeah! - 2004-09-26
Go Tammy... - 2004-09-25
PMS sucks - 2004-09-12
Just a ramble. - 2004-09-09
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